Banks Billiards

They are not normally a breakfast place. For the weekend they had great food and service. I will go back again under normal circumstances. Price per person: $1–10 Food: 5 Service: 5 Atmosphere: 5

I always look at the harshest reviews and wonder if people have a grudge against the owners or just hate life. Then there are places like Banks Billiards that make you think the one-stars are on to something. Listen, Banks is a rapidly changing town that wishes it wasn 't that. Executives from some of Oregon 's largest corporations now live in incredibly nice houses in its surrounding hills. Families that send their kids to some of the best private schools in the Portland metro area live in a cluster of houses that the old-timers know only as the development. The rest of Banks is a mix of rural folks just trying to live a quiet life and raise families and some of the most backwards people that Western Washington County has ever produced. Guess which of those groups runs things in this town? Guess which group considers regular fart-car racing and combine demolition derbies fine civic life? Guess which group regularly cuts school programs so the football team can go to the state final a town and a half over and show those stuck-up pricks who 's better than who? Guess which group regularly populates this ramshackle excuse for a lottery bar? The entire menu of this place is unloaded from a SYSCO truck and immediately placed into a deep fryer. The drinks aren 't so much mixed as they are sloshed into tumblers and swirled around a bit. The Philly cheesesteak looks and tastes as if it 's prepared by someone who rarely ventures East of Baker City. I went in because we were taking a family pet to the best amenity this town offers--Banks Vet--and needed a place to kill time. My sister and brother in law warned me against it, as this place apparently had itself a nice little cry during the pandemic and went wailing about mask regulations to Barstool Sports: A casino-owned sports publication out of Boston aimed at Northeast finance bros who still own their high school shower shoes. But they 're 3,000 miles away from that douchebag factory: How bad could it be? Oh, bad. Like you wonder what they did with the money they begged off of Barstool. I think all the beer signs are from shut-down breweries and all of the regulars come straight here after Banks High graduation and never leave. There are dive bars that are a bit dated, but otherwise fun to visit and filled with decent people having a good time. There are other lottery mausoleums that fluctuate between unofficial Proud Boys meetings and living funerals. Banks Billiards somehow manages to be neither, yet its own sagging husk of misery. This is a bar you come to when there 's one place to drink and a place you eat when you 've exhausted all other options. When someone longs for the simplicity of small-town life, I 'd like to take them here and show them how bluntly, traumatically simple it all can get.

Taco Tuesday the best! Food: 5 Service: 5 Atmosphere: 5

Ton o’ fun! Free pool, real good burgers etc, and the best Coors Light poster I’ve ever seen. Price per person: $10–20 Food: 5 Service: 5 Atmosphere: 5

Took my son there for a CHL class and had great burgers and ice cold beer. Zak from PDX Arsenal did a great job teaching the group.