Lal Baag - Lambeth

Team outing after a long day of rehearsals. Venue is minutes from the South London Theatre and very happy to have a large booking. The food is excellent and it's very well priced. With a large group, it is always a challenge to get everybody served at the same time without things getting cold. It was a great evening. NB this is a bring your own bottle.

Had a takeaway, all Anglo Bangladeshi fake Indian cuisine and not a good version of it either. Two dishes, chicken Balti and jalfrezi were identical, lamb dish no spices, matter paneer bland as was the cauliflower dish. Mixed kebabs dry, pilao rice lumpy and lacking spices. Naans OK but too much added sugar. The chef either will not cook or can't cook decent food. Real south east asian cuisine is a delight on the palate, with wonderful complex and sometimes explosive flavours, but this food was dull and bland, the opposite of delectable, so unappetising. Had I actually been dining instead of having a takeaway, I would have sent it back and left. I had my first curry in 1965, my first Indian cooking lesson in 1970 and have Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi neighbours who all give me food, they also like my food and are surprised an indigenous Englishman can cook south east Asian food like a native, so my credentials for criticism are good. Avoid this place, try your local supermarket, far cheaper and better, or try a decent restaurant serving authentic Indian cuisine.

This is the second time we were refused service within advertised opening hours. We arrived last night at about 10-20pm. The door was open and the sign said OPEN. The waiter however, on noting that there were no other customers there announced that they were closed, obviously because they couldn't be bothered to serve just two customers. The message is to ignore their advertised opening times. They will serve you if it suits them, otherwise, forget it.

I get deliveries from here regularly and my family and I are very happy with the food. I was going to go for a change as we had a menu for Rajah Rowing club through the door and saw their 3.6 star reviews here. So I thought I'd compare with my usual I am surprised to see some negative reviews as have never in five years had cause to complain. Crispy bajis, great keema and chicken tikka.

Look: We all like Jason Statham. But Lal Baag’s Homage to The Transporter 2 has just taken it a bit too far. Dont get me wrong, the Lamb Bhuna slipped down quicker than Mr Status in his bicycle cleats but only due to the vast quantities of oil that they put into him. Wrestling with our onion Bhaji’s but unable to get a purchase on their slippery bodies, Jason slid seamlessly from plate to plate, evading us effortlessly. A lot of potential and a really moving tribute to one of the greatest scenes in cinema but sadly the execution was off. I look forward to meeting Jason again for a rematch soon.